The older I get, the more I realize I have no idea what I am talking about. Waiiiiiit, what?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Super Bouncy Balls

It is Wednesday (wait, is it Wed or Tues, hold on, yes it's Wednesday) night. There was driving and traffic and work and then (thankfully) playtime/bathtime/bedtime for Quinn. Jamie is making dinner and I am here in front of the computer. It is quiet. What do I do? There is a list 20 items long on the whiteboard in the kitchen of things that need to get done, but the truth is, this time of day, I'm almost done being awake, let alone productive. So what do I do with this time? I thought by this point, I'd be on some kind of exercise schedule so I don't hurt myself playing softball this summer. Maybe the longer daylight will help with that. But I am slowly remembering, in addition to all these things vital to my day (not the least of which are my husband and daughter), there has to be some time for reflection. Much has happened this year to ponder and sometimes you just have to sit for a moment with your thoughts and just let them come, or else they just bounce around in your head like one of those Super Balls you get out of a gumball machine at the supermarket. I bought two snazzy notebooks this week. One is for a project my sisters and I are working on (more on that later), and the other is for writing down those frantically bouncing thoughts. I should do it in an effort to level out my brain. I can't write everything I'm thinking here, that takes too much analysis of what I'm comfortable pondering aloud to this internet place to be therapeutic. But I do like blogging, so to my thousands of readers, do not fear, my wisdom shall continue to be posted in this spot, stay tuned for more!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

This is it

This has been a sad week. On Wednesday, my sister Juli's good friend Becky lost her life in a house fire. Her mother also died, possibly trying to save her daughter. I can't stop thinking about it, about how tragic it is, how her family must be feeling, how much her friends will miss her. She came with my sisters and I to a concert 2 years ago, it was a really fun time. And I remember during the show, she ran into members of her college sorority and they were so geniunely happy to see her. And this leads me to think of how sad they must be now, as I know Juli is to have lost her. You don't expect these things to happen. Just like we did not expect to lose Ellie six months ago. Those two things are things you think about and think "God, I don't know what I would do...", meaning I don't know how I would cope with something like that. And some people don't, and it is understandable. Those are two heart wrenching, life changing types of losses. But some people do. One step at a time, one moment at a time. It is easy to forget, in the business of daily life, where you plan and schedule, that that thing you are looking forward to 2 months from now might not happen and that you should remember to cherish the simple moment right in front of you. This moment is really all we've got, and we better make the best of it. I know, I'm like a modern day Confucius over here, but this is where I'm at. I used to be all planning and big goals, but now I'm more of a "let's try and head in this general direction while remembering to stop and smell the roses". Some may say that is bad, but after this year, I don't know how I would end up feeling any other way.

That's all for now, check back later in the week for more philosophical gems:)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Ramblings of a scatterbrain

Like I wrote in the "About Me" section of this blog, I have a lot on my mind and no time to figure it out. I also have no time to write in this blog, which stinks. Two weeks ago we moved into the coolest neighborhood eva, with the coolest neighbors eva, and so, in addition to raising the sassiest sassafrass of a baby that we (and anyone else we know) has ever encountered, we've been unpacking and decorating (with the help of my very talented sister/coolest neighbor eva Kerry Genius and her husband, fellow coolest neighbor eva, Seth the Mighty). So that stuff is all good in the 'hood. Quinn is enjoying her new surroundings, but has become a bit sassier in the last week or so. And by sassy, I mean hard to entertain/please and not afraid to tell us loudly (which isn't so different than her normal self, but she's taking it up a notch). I don't know if she's teething, needs to eat more, just going through a phase, frustrated because she can't quite crawl yet. Just not sure. She has also made the transition into sleeping in her crib at night (instead of with us), which is a big transition. So there's all that stuff to think about. My problem is right now, its hard to complete a thought, so I have all these random things I'm wondering about and if I could just find 20 minutes a day to sit down and think them all out, I think I wouldn't feel like such a scatterbrain. There is always so much to do. I should probably be more organized, and less of a perfectionist, (which I realize sounds strange after I just said I was unorganized, seems like those things don't go together). What I mean is, I think I am guilty of putting things off because I realize I don't have time to complete them/complete them the way I am picturing in my head. At this point in my life, I think I just need to do it and worry about perfection later. And this particular blog entry is the first attempt at actually applying this theory.

Other things on my mind (in no particular order of importance, because that would be me trying to perfect and I don't do that here:) :
Red Sox
Fantasy baseball
Not taking today for granted
Work/life balance
Husband/baby/self balance
Work/life balance

Wow, I'm sensing a theme here. Anyways, since i have resolved none of those other things here at this point, they will be revisited and expounded upon in later blogs, with sage wisdom and a quick wit. And as usual, I have no idea what I'm talking about. At this point, I'm starving and the husband beckons with leftover tacos, so the rambling ends here. Right now. Annnnd go!